6 Months

Today marked 6 months since I began a new relationship. Like all new relationships, it has been rocky at times and I still have moments when I wonder what I have gotten myself into. In these six months not once have I wished things to be any different. This new relationship has changed my life. We are both in this relationship until "death do us part" unless I have to find a new "friend", we both hope that doesn't have to happen though. Needless to say I am happy with where I stand and look forward to many more years together. I love my new liver!!

I am sure that it isn't a very important day to many and after this September 26th it probably will not be an important date to me. This particular 9/26 is important to me though. I have waited for this day because it marks a milestone for me. I had some goals set before and right after surgery for this day and I am happy to say that I have been able to meet all of those goals. Some met more than others but all were met. I did get to go on a small vacation (not the best), I am working out again, and I am back to work full time. It feels good to know that those goals were met at some time or another within six months of my transplant. I am still not working out at full tilt but I am on my way. I can honestly say, smiling as I type, that I feel better than anytime I can remember in my life. (I know I probably just jinxed myself and will be at Emory now.) I have so much more energy and a much more positive attitude. I attribute most of this of course to my new "friend" but also to cleaning up my diet and working out. For the first time in my life, I understand how people can love working out. I now have the energy to finish a workout and not be ready to crash. I also am a much happier person both inside and out! I can wake up with a smile in the morning and it be genuine because I feel good. I no longer have to paint on my smile in the morning while I brush my teeth and get ready for work. It just shows up every morning (well....most mornings). Six months and counting! My next milestone will be March 26, 2007 (one year). I will be setting some more goals over the next couple of days. Might just be a good topic for a future post. I am going to shoot high with these goals and do my best to attain them. May need some help from the cheering section for the goals to be met! Hope all is well with everyone who reads this and God bless you all! Happy 6 month anniversary to me!

Need some inspiration?

I stole this video off of a friend's page. It is the video of a father and sons journey through the CAN-triathalon. Thanks Julie.

Attitude

Made it through the weekend without another hospital stay which is saying a lot lately. I'm feeling really good today. I'm sore from starting a new workout on Saturday but I like the feeling. Well that's my update for today! Now on to more important things.

I read a motivational article that I read on Monday mornings that was about storms in life. In this article a man was sitting on his porch when an unexpected storm came up on a beautiful day. The storm wasn't forecast and when he checked the Doppler radar he saw that the storm was no where else in the tri-state area except over where he was. The storm hovered there for just a little while before it dissipated. Once it stopped, the air was clearer and the sun seemed to shine even brighter.

This made me think this morning of the things we all go through from time to time. Sometimes it seems that we are in a cartoon or like the guy in this article where that cloud seems to hang around and just follow us wherever we go. I believe that "tribulation worketh patience" and sometimes God puts us through trials in life so that we can draw closer to him. I believe there are times that through trials we are forced to get ourselves out of the way and lean on Him because we CAN'T do anything alone. I have been through my share of storms over the past years and I am sure that there are many storms ahead in my life.

With that said, I also believe we are directly responsible often times for that cloud lingering above our head. We have all heard that when we wake up in the morning we decide whether we are going to have a good day or a bad day. Lately, I have been more and more in agreement with that statement. Many times things happen in the morning or first thing in the day that put a sour note on that moment. At that moment we have the opportunity to let that negative thing go or hold on to it. I have been trying lately to let the negative things go and focus on the positive things that happen from day to day. There is always a reason to smile though sometimes it may be hard to find. When that cloud catches up with you, just let it go on by and don't make it hang around because of poor attitude or choices.

Storms come in life and sometimes they are hard to weather. We have all had times where we just wanted to give up. I have been there, not just once or twice, thinking why am I even fighting. There have been many times that there seemed to be no light at the end of my tunnel or no sunshine on my horizon. Eventually though all things passed and on the other side was a clearer perspective, a breath of fresh air, a reason to smile, and most importantly a victory. After going through a storm, I can often look back and draw strength from that experience and know that it helped better me a person and make me who I am today.

Before my surgery, I was worried about a lot of things: How was life going to be post-surgery? How would people look at me differently? Was my scar going to be large? Would I ever be able to do the things I love? I was scared to death. I wasn't scared of the surgery but was it worth going through if I had to change my life and not be able to do the things that I love doing. Looking back, all of that was foolish thinking. My life has definitely changed since the surgery but, honestly, I think it has made me a better person. I now wear my scar proudly! I am self-conscious about it but not because of what people will think of me, but because I do not like the attention that it garners. Life is much the same now, I get to hang out with my friends when I get the chance, the people who care about me treat me just the same, and I am slowly getting back to doing the things I enjoy.

All of this comes along with a new perspective on life, enjoying every day that I get, and enjoying the smell of life after a good storm. Everything is fresh and clean. I know there is another storm ahead and many more after that one but I look forward to the sunshine and clean feeling that comes from getting out of each one.

"Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day." - Author Unknown

Home

An update.....I just got home from another extended stay at the Emory Express. Woke up Sunday morning not feeling well but figured it was a bug I had contracted from my students at school. (Still not convinced that it wasn't!) Went to Kevin's house for a cookout and was feeling pretty good, but on the way home I started feeling tired and sluggish. This is a common occurrence now since the surgery. My stamina still isn't back to where it was. When I got home I laid down for a bit then started to feel like I had a fever so I checked it and it was 101.4 which means it is time to head to Emory. I checked it again about 30 minutes later and it was 101.7. A rising temp above 101 means I need to get to Emory in a hurry. On the ride down my fever broke and was going down, so when I got to Emory I only had a temp of 100.2. Long story short.....transplant patient....low immune system......fever=infection.....3 day stay. I'm starting to get used to the routine of going to the ER, getting admitted, pumped full of antibiotics, and being sent on my way. Only a minor interruption in my life...in a few months ill forget it ever happened!

Craig and Overhaulin' Update

Tenative date for the bro to be a movie star is September 19. Watch and see if he makes the cut and shows up on screen. I think he is debating about going back in the spring for another build. We will see and I will keep you updated.

Being happy, positive, and some thoughts on blogging

I guess my life has been boring the past couple of weeks because I can think of nothing worth blogging about. Well there are a few things but I'll save those for later. I have had a major attitude change in the past few days which has put me in a positive state of mind. It feels good to have positive thoughts again because I could feel myself becoming more and more negative every day. That is a bad feeling! It is amazing how at times God sends a person or even just a comment your way at just the right time. It's amazing how he knows what you need, even when you don't.

This blog helps me stay positive about things, especially when I get a comment from someone who says they are thinking about me, praying for me, or that I may have helped them in some way. There are more people than I realize who read this blog and many of you are friends from either high school or college. Some of you I haven't seen since graduation from one school or another, but have been able to reconnect through this blog. Some of the people who read this blog know more about the early times of my illness than others and know that I am only scratching the surface of the things I went through. To those people who were there for me I want to say, "Thank You!"

This blog is hard to write at times because I want to make it semi-enjoyable to read and for that to occur I have to include some emotion. That emotion may be sadness, happiness, worry, etc. By including that emotion, it forces me to open up and tell the world what I am feeling. I don't spill my guts on here but I do have to open up sometimes to the point of being uncomfortable. No one has ever judged me in a negative way publicly because of what I have written, but just putting myself out there for judgment is hard.

And with that said...I'm done for tonight!

Stuck

I feel like I have so much to say and somewhere down deep I do. I just feel like I need something to happen to give me a start. I feel stuck in so many ways right now. I feel like I have a new lease on life and im not living it! Hopefully in the next day or so I can better explain. Pointless blog but I felt the need to put my fingers on the keyboard and type random words formed into a pattern we call sentences! Sorry for those of you who wasted your time reading this blog!

Free at last, free at last

For the past five weeks, I have been a prisoner. A prisoner to an IV known as a PICC line and a bag of medicine known as ganciclovir. I have had to take this IV medication at home two times a day, every day. Each time I sat down for the infusion it was a two hour ordeal. My life has revolved around medicine since the transplant but with the addition of the IV my life has been planned around those two hour blocks, one in the morning and one at night. I was up each morning for work at 4:30 to start boiling the water for my oatmeal, hook up to the IV, take my 8,000 pills, check my blood sugar, give myself my insulin shots, eat, wait for the meds to finish, then begin getting ready for a shower. Yes, I had to get ready for a shower...quite an ordeal at 6:30 AM! My mornings were crazy! AHHHH!! This morning, it was so peaceful because I got my PICC line removed when I went to the doctor yesterday. Don't get me wrong, if anyone saw my "normal" morning you would probably still think it was nuts. I am honestly on cloud nine right now because I am able to go where i want without having to drag an IV pole around the house or plan my life around the gancyclovir. Instead of the IV, they gave me two more pills to take which do the same job just not quite as effectively. They said that it was okay though now that the virus is almost gone. Now that I am out of the prison I was in, I'm looking forward to getting back out on the weekends and waking up a little later for work. It's funny the things that excite you!

Diabetes Sucks! but I'm here to say it so its okay...

It has been a few days since I have updated my blog. With school starting back I have been crazy! It seems I have very little time to think about what I should blog about let alone sit down and write something. Well an update on me follows!

I found out a little over a week ago that I am diabetic and have been trying to manage that through my diet and through insulin. I am hoping that that goes away once they taper my steroids. I have what is known as steroid-induced diabetes which means it is caused by medicine. It is kind of like gestational diabetes and should go away once I get off steroids, much like a woman may have diabetes during pregnancy. My sugar goes way up then an hour later it has dropped to the floor. I get nervous because I dont understand why it does that. Last Saturday, my sugar was low all day then after dinner I checked it before going to a friends house and it was close to 400, which is way high. I ended up staying at home and checking it every hour to make sure it came down. I am still taking my IV medication which pretty much rules my day. It is an hour and a half a session two times a day. Hopefully tomorrow I will get to stop the IV treatments. That will allow me another hour of sleep each morning and save my weekend nights from being destroyed by an 8:00 date with a bag of meds and an IV pole. Well, that is pretty much my life right now.....meds and school.

I am happy to be back to work though. I was so bored just sitting at home. I get tired really quick, but everyone says that is normal after a major surgery. I tend to forget that it was only 5 months ago that I was cut in half to have an organ removed from my body and replaced with another. I guess that can be considered a major surgery!

AHHHH!

Being diabetic sucks! I know it will get better but i feel like I am constantly playing a game trying to keep the ball balanced in the middle. My sugar will drop and I will get shaky so i have to eat some sugar to bring it up. I always eat too much and then my sugar is way high! This is nuts. Hopefully it will get better soon. Just needed to vent. I plan on having a better blog soon....my life is so revolved around medication right now I dont have much time to reflect on any thing that has happened during the day. I feel like I am constantly running around trying to get everything finished.