Been A While....

It has been over a week since I posted anything.....i suppose both out of sheer lazyness and exhaustion. I have been going out a lot more here recently. I have decided that since I am going to be laid up for a few months at least, I better get my fill of going out before I go under the knife. I have been having tons of fun though hanging out with friends, making new friends, just doing things that I always told myself I was too tired to do. I am still way too tired to do these things, but i am making it.

Anyways, what this blog is about is the progression of my journey through the long process of liver transplantation. Anyways the past couple of weeks I have had more tests ran on me. This has been the case for the past four years so I am okay with them. I did find out last week that I have been approved by the transplant team to go on the transplant list . I am not currently on the list but once all of the tests are cleared and paperwork is finished i will be placed on the UNOS transplant list. Once I am on the list, things become a waiting game for real. At any moment, I could have to go to Emory and be prepped for surgery which may or may not happen. I have been warned that this game can be cruel. I could get the call for surgery, be prepped, and then the doctors turn down the liver, and there will be no surgery. I could also get down there and someone else receive the liver. Crazy situations that I hope I don't have to go through.

I have not been nervous about any of this lately. I think going out has allowed me to keep my mind off everything that is going on. It is funny how just being around friends can change your outlook on hard times. For the first time in a long time, I feel that I have people around me who actually care about me for me, even people I haven't met. For a long time, I have kept people at a distance because I was afraid of how they might take me and my condition. I have found lately that if I open up to people they will accept me as I am. I have ran from friendships in the past because of being afraid of how people look at me and my condition. I have come to terms with my condition and the fact that it is a part of me, but my condition does not define me. If people really want to get to know me, and what I have to offer, they will look past the doctor's visits and the numerous IV marks on my arm. If they don't want to get to know me that is fine as well, I do not have to be liked by everyone. I am me, take me as I am, or leave me alone. Okay, I am through ranting. I am thankful for my friends, both new and old, those close and far away. Thanks for the random phone calls, the night's out on the town, the nights sitting at the house, even the nights on AIM, and the numerous other things you do that prove your friendship.