One Year - So Much To Be Thankful For

Today marks one year since this journey with my new liver began. I have been thinking a lot about how things were before. I do this to keep perspective on how far I have come in the past year. There are mixed feelings about almost everything as I look back. There are things that I have done since surgery that I wish I hadn't. There are many more things that I wish I would have had the courage to do.

The past year has both flown and creeped by all at once. Looking back, I can't believe that a year has past, but as I was going through some of the trials it seemed so slow. I have had relatively few setbacks, the main one being the sinister CMV.

Today was a great day, though I was tired. Craig and I spent the weekend in Bristol at the race and got home around 3:30 AM. Three hours later, I was out of bed and getting ready for work. The day was non-stop with surprise after surprise. The people that I work with went completely out of their way to make today all about me and the transplant. Through some sneaky planning, my class made pancakes for me(blueberry with peanut butter, my favorite), my co-workers made a huge spread for lunch, and the faculty showed up for a party at the end of the day. They also had a lady from Lifelink (the organ procurement agency for Georgia, Florida, and Puerto Rico) come discuss organ donation with the faculty and give out some Donate Life goodies. The school wore green today for organ donation awareness and I knew nothing of the entire thing. I, of course, was wearing my green "Recycle" t-shirt (photo to come). There were some sneaking suspicions, but I never imagined the extent they would go to make me feel special. I am not the type who enjoys being the center of attention. I actually tend to shy away from the spotlight, but today was nice. It is a great feeling to know that you have people who are there for you. That people are willing to take time out of their busy schedules as moms and teachers to plan something that is special to me. Organ donation has become one of my passions and I am trying my hardest to get more and more into furthering the cause in any way that I can. The people that I work with realize this and are helping me to meet this goal. These types of things do not go unnoticed. I will honestly remember this day for the rest of my life. I cannot remember a day where so many people came together to show me that they love me. It still amazes me and more than once today it choked me up, and is again as I type this.

It is so easy to lose sight of all that you have to be thankful for. There is the obvious, the transplant, that is the reason that I am here and able to type this today. But there are many other things that I have to be thankful for. I am thankful for the donor family, who in extremely hard times, were unselfish enough to donate their loved ones organs to me and possibly others. I intend on writing a letter to them when I find words that can BEGIN to wrap around the love that I have for those people. There are my friends and coworkers who show their love everyday, in ways they do not even know. They show their love even in times where I am extremely close to unlovable. My family, who has stood beside me through this entire process. There have been many ups and downs that they only know about, and even more that Craig only knows about. He has been the one that I lean on, he has been the one that I can tell when I hit rock bottom. He is the one who constantly pulls me back up when I am ready to give up. That has been more than once. Sarah, though she came after the surgery, has been another person that I can tell anything to in confidence and know that I will not be judged. She has been my motivator and does not let me use the transplant as an excuse to give up on anything. For that I am thankful because there are times that I get lazy and would use it as a crutch. She pushes me to better myself constantly. There are so many people that I could name that have been an inspiration to me. There are the doctors and the nurses on 9E and in the transplant clinic who never told me that my goals were unreachable. They told me they were lofty, but that I should shoot for them. If any of them happen to read this, I want them to know that each one was met. I returned to work in August, I went hiking, I am back on my mountain bike, I am working out, and I am enjoying life like I never thought that I would again.

There are many things that I haven't done and at times I feel like I am still not living. I want to step out of my comfort zone and make a difference in the world. I don't need to make a big difference, just a little ripple will be fine with me. I want to make my donor and their family proud. I want them to know that their decision was not made in vain. Their loved one is living on inside me and I tell our story everywhere I go. I am thankful for so much and this post barely scrapes the surface of all that I am feeling at the moment. I thank God for giving me the faith to trust in him, the strength to carry on through hard times, and the time to make a difference in the world for him. I want Him to be proud of me when it is my time to go more than anything else. Happy 1st transplantiversary to me! Happy 1st transplantiversary to my donor! Happy 1st transplantiversary to all those who have stood by me and loved me through it all.