Things have been crazy lately!!

It has been a while since I have posted anything. Things have been crazy at school. The end of the quarter is wild. Grades have to be in, things have to be checked off, and all of this is added on top of the normal paperwork I deal with. With that said, I haven't posted in a while due to that and sheer laziness. I have been feeling pretty good lately though fatigue is always a problem that I deal with. We just keep trudging along though putting one foot in front of the other and painting a smile on so the world thinks we are well. In the famous (or infamous) words of Joe Dirt, "Life's a garden, dig it!" and that is what I do everyday. Well enough rambling, Ill get to the meat of this post.

Went to a support group meeting last week and things there were pretty depressing! I had blood work the other day and my meld score came back as a 24, which is fairly high and places me nearer to the top of the list than the 20 i was a few weeks ago. I have to get blood work again in a few weeks and we will see what the new score is! Well that is all the news I have for now! If the beeper goes off, I'll be running! Until next time!

The List and a Beeper....

Since my last post I have had a couple of tests ran and they all came back with no problems to report. I am thankful for that because this entire transplant process seems to be so finicky about what you can and cannot do. I am trying my best to stay within my bounds and do the things I am supposed to do.

Anyways, I got the letter last Tuesday that said I am now on the liver transplant list. I read this letter out loud in front of the family the other night not really knowing what it was and almost threw up when I read the words, "You have been activated on the UNOS liver transplant list." I knew it was coming as everyone did, but every time I get a little farther into the process there is a sickening feeling that comes over me. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful for being on the list and the opportunity to be put on the list, but that doesn't take away from the fact that this surgery is HUGE. I get nervous from time to time, not about the surgery itself but about the recovery and knowing it is going to be a long, hard road back. I can't help but think of my grandpa and his lung surgeries and the two hard trips he has been through. It was a long and painful road, physically for him and emotionally for the entire family. I just hate the fact that because of me the family will be going through the same thing again.

I also got my beeper yesterday, which was just another step in the process. When Mom showed it to me I almost got sick again. The beeper is my constant reminder of what is going to happen in the very near future. I have been told that the average wait time in my area for a liver is 3 months. I am trying to prepare myself for getting my new liver sometime between 2 to 4 months from now. I wonder if I will be ready when the beeper goes off.

I have to go next week to a support group meeting and some sort of orientation class. Those meetings usually calm me down for a few days because I can pretend that I have a better grasp of what is going on and what is going to happen.

Well, I have rambled enough and now im just typing random thoughts. I'll have more to say later I am sure.